Medical gaslighting and how to navigate conventional care with complex chronic illness

One of the most common and distressing themes we see at The Autoimmune Clinic is not just physical illness, but the emotional and psychological impact of repeated medical interactions that leave people feeling dismissed, invalidated, or gaslighted.

Many of our clients come to us feeling frustrated, exhausted, and wary. Some are traumatised by years of appointments in which their symptoms were minimised, attributed solely to stress or anxiety, or dismissed because test results did not meet diagnostic criteria. This experience is particularly common among individuals living with complex, multi system conditions such as MCAS, mould related illness, CIRS, chronic fatigue syndrome, IBS type presentations, autoimmune disease, and other inflammatory or immune mediated presentations.

Why complex illness often does not fit the conventional model

Conventional medicine is very good at identifying acute pathology and managing life threatening conditions. Doctors are trained to recognise red flags, rule out serious conditions, and intervene when there is a clear diagnosis.

What it is not designed to do is assess how diet, environment, infections, immune signalling, nervous system regulation, hormonal balance, and lifestyle interact over time to drive chronic illness.

Many of the people we work with do not fit neatly into a diagnostic category. They may be inflamed, their immune system is dysregulated, nutrient depleted, struggling with hormonal imablance, but without abnormal results that justify a disease label. Their tests are often reported as normal, yet they feel very unwell.

When someone does not meet criteria for pathology, the system often has very little to offer them.

The limits of ten minute appointments

The structure of primary care creates further barriers. Ten minute appointments, with an expectation of discussing one symptom at a time, are not enough for people experiencing a wide of symptoms.

Fatigue, pain, gastrointestinal issues, neurological symptoms, skin issues, sleep disruption, and autonomic instability do not exist in isolation. Without the opportunity to see the full picture, clinicians are left trying to make sense of fragments.

This is not a criticism of doctors as individuals. Many are working within intense constraints, with limited time, resources, and continuity of care. The problem lies in the system itself.

Pathology versus function

Another key issue is the difference between disease and dysfunction.

Laboratory reference ranges are designed to detect pathology, not optimal function. Many people experience symptoms long before results cross a diagnostic threshold. This does not mean the symptoms are psychological or imagined. It means that physiology can be impaired without meeting criteria for disease.

This grey area of suboptimal function is where many people with conditions such as MCAS, mould illness, and CIRS live, and it is also where they are most likely to feel dismissed.

When symptoms are reduced to stress or anxiety

A particularly harmful pattern, especially affecting women, is the default attribution of physical symptoms to stress, anxiety, or hormones.

There is no question that being chronically unwell is stressful, and that prolonged stress can worsen symptoms. However, for the vast majority of our clients, anxiety is NOT the root cause of their illness. It is often a consequence of being unwell for a long time without answers, clarity, or support.

Repeatedly being told that there is nothing wrong can destroy self trust. In some cases, family members and friends begin to believe the reassurance of a doctor over the lived experience of the individual, leading to isolation and loss of support. This isolation can further amplify symptoms, creating a deeply distressing cycle.

The overlooked trauma of medical gaslighting

It is important to acknowledge the trauma that can be created by these experiences.

Being ill is already difficult to navigate. Being ill without the understanding or support of your doctor, while being actively dismissed or gaslit, can create a form of medical trauma that is long lasting.

People lose trust in the medical profession. They lose confidence in practitioners. Many arrive to us guarded, anxious, and unsure whether it is safe to share their full story. When someone has been repeatedly told that their symptoms are not real, opening up again can feel risky.

For many clients, simply being listened to, believed, and validated is genuinely life changing. The relief of having someone take their symptoms seriously can in itself reduce symptom intensity.

Trauma does not exist separately from physiology. Chronic stress, fear, and hypervigilance can amplify immune activation, mast cell reactivity, pain perception, and nervous system dysregulation. This creates a vicious cycle where unresolved trauma worsens physical symptoms, which then leads to further distress and fear.

How to navigate conventional care more effectively

While the system has limitations, there are ways to engage with it more strategically.

• Learn to speak the language of your doctor: Doctors are trained to think in a particular framework. Expecting them to assess diet, lifestyle, environmental exposure, and immune complexity within a short appointment is often unrealistic. Understanding their remit allows for more productive conversations and less frustration.

• Ask for appropriate testing and follow up: Request a comprehensive blood panel where possible. If results are borderline or do not reflect how you feel, ask for repeat testing in six to eight weeks. Patterns over time are often far more helpful than a single snapshot.

• Set realistic expectations: Your GP is unlikely to address every aspect of a complex case in one appointment. Bringing a supportive friend or family member can help, particularly if you find appointments emotionally difficult.

• Seek another opinion if needed: If you feel consistently dismissed, it is reasonable to request a different GP. There are clinicians who genuinely want to help, even if they are limited by the system.

Where functional medicine support fits in

This is where working with a functional practitioner can add significant value.

We help to:

• Make sense of existing test results beyond basic reference ranges

• Identify which markers are worth repeating or monitoring

• Clarify what tests can realistically be requested through your GP

• Build a coherent clinical picture to support referrals or escalation

• Communicate with doctors clearly and concisely on your behalf

Often, when information is presented in writing by a third party, it allows clinicians to view a case through a different lens.

Wearing many hats when supporting complex illness

Our role is not just to analyse test results or recommend interventions.

We wear many hats when working with clients. We do what we do best clinically by understanding symptoms, timelines, triggers, and identifying patterns, working through layers of a complex case, reducing symptom burden, and addressing underlying drivers such as immune dysregulation, mould exposure, mast cell instability, or chronic inflammation.

But we are also here to ensure that our clients feel heard, supported, and validated. We are on your team. We are on your side. We advocate for you, both within and alongside the medical system.

For many people, that sense of being believed and supported is profoundly powerful.

If this resonates, you are not alone

If you recognise yourself in this experience, navigating complex symptoms, feeling dismissed, and carrying the emotional weight of repeated invalidation, know that you are not alone.

Symptoms do not stop being real simply because they are not yet understood. And there are ways to move forward with support, clarity, and compassion.

At The Autoimmune Clinic, our aim is not to replace conventional medicine, but to bridge the gap, support you through it, and ensure that your experience is taken seriously while we work together towards better health and function.

For more information on this topic, you can also visit our Instagram page, where Claire and Muriel discuss how they navigate medical dismissal and gaslighting, and how they support clients who have been affected by these experiences.

They explore the realities of working with complex conditions, and share practical insight into advocating for clients within and alongside conventional medical care.

You can watch the discussion here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTk2mlSDHhI/